Monday, May 20, 2013

How to Deal with Anger

It was one of those days.  The type where I am so glad it is finally over and so thankful that we made it through.  This year I have a few students whose personalities clash- a few pairs that it seems will never get along.  It doesn't help that we are at a boarding school and so the children spend all day and evening together.  I have talked with each student, but after today I'm ready to break out a whole class in depth lesson on dealing with clashing personalities and anger.  In fact, I can probably get through the year with the fighting of personalities, if only the aggressive anger would stop...

I'll be honest, I was almost in tears by the end of the day.  Today it seemed like every child with anger management problems was in distress and lashing out.  Neither kind words nor stern words would do the trick.  For the emotional health of these children and the safety of the children around them, it is time for a more positive, preemptive approach.  (Ok, so I am a little late handling this situation.  I mean preemptive in the sense of preempting future negative displays of anger.)  It is time for an anger management plan.  While my lesson is still in development, I'd like to share this little song I came up with tonight. 

 
 
I am thinking of having each kid write about what will work for them when they are angry and that will be their plan.  Each kid can have customized lyrics.  "If you're angry and you know it (do whatever you have planned to handle your anger)"  Now I just need a good picture book to launch the lesson.  Any ideas?
 
I am also thinking of writing other lyrics to the same tune for other emotions (sad, nervous, etc.).  Please let me know if you would be interested in me publishing those.


12 comments:

  1. Love this.... I have lots of anger issues this year. We used the Second Step program for role playing anger management strategies (grade 1/2) It did help quite a bit.
    :-)

    Susanna

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    1. Thank you for reminding me about role playing. I really need to get these fire balls to think about their triggers. Role plays would help put my lesson in context.

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  2. I hear you. Clashing personalities make for long days full of putting out fires and managing a 3 ring circus. As the frustrations grow, the anger does too. At our school we are starting to implement Zones of Regulation. This will be used by the school as a whole next year. I hope it helps. It is hard to teach academics when you are working on social behaviors all the time. Good luck with the rest of your year.

    Charlene/Diamond Mom

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    1. I am going to look into Zones of Regulation. I know I need to get the other teachers and care takers on board. I was a little nervous about how today would go, but we made it through with only a fear tears (from the kids!). Thank you for commenting!

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  3. perfect picture book: "When Sophie gets angry really really angry" by Molly Bang. You could talk about what THEY can do when angry. Obviously they can't run to their favorite quiet tree in the backyard, but there is something they could do.

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    1. I remember reading that once! This is exactly the type of spring board I was looking for. Thank you!

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  4. So glad I stopped in here tonight! I had a day like this today... except it was only me and my 5 y/o, who is usually such a sweetheart. I love your song idea, and all the recommendations from other commenters. I feel ready for tomorrow now. Thanks!

    BTW, love your new color scheme, too!
    Julie
    OpenWideTheWorld

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  5. Wow, I can so relate. I have one student in particular who has some real anger management issues. I don't want to sound like misery loves company, but to just know that others face things I face helps me. If I could figure out all the triggers, but there seem to be so many. :(

    I am going to follow your blog too. I really wanted to do something like you're doing when I was younger, but I got married right out of college and then had a baby not too long after. I still hope to someday help ELLs learn English and/or illiterate adults.

    Thanks for sharing some ideas on anger management. I have found one thing I need to NOT do is to REact with the emphasis done on purpose. I heard a saying that went like this I think: "We can't be responsible for other's actions, but we are responsible for how we REACT to others."

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    1. It does help to know we are not the only ones that face these problems.
      You are doing something wonderful caring for your children and helping to raise funds for children in China! But who knows, maybe someday you'll take homeschooling on the road!

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  6. Well, that should have had my new blog addy attached. Oh well! :)

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